The Wooden Spoon

A Vegetarian Hungarian Cooking & Baking Blog


Fog tansuul-knee a fuckin’ all!- this is how you pronounce it

(fog táncolni a fa kanál)- this is how to write  it.

Two things every child of a Hungarian immigrant knows about:

The Tragedy of Trianon


Image source=http://www.dvhh.org/banat/history/images/dismemberment-map-hungary-1921.gif

YEAH I copied it without permission. I stole an image. Look what Europe stole!


In 1956, while Hungarians were fighting Russian tanks, this was President Eisenhower’s response.

Dwight Eisenhower played a LOT of golf — he spent four out of seven of his Independence Days as president on the links. http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/4ff4a20eeab8ea194000006a-590/dwight-eisenhower-played-a-lot-of-golf–he-spent-four-out-of-seven-of-his-independence-days-as-president-on-the-links.jpg

By the way I have been called an obscene language wimp. I don’t cuss. This is why those who know me might be amused at the way I start the blog. But “fuckin’ all” really isn’t vulgar in Hungarian, it’s just a very real terroristic threat, and terroristic threats are so much nicer than a curse words, aren’t they?

See, the phrase means, “The wooden spoon will dance!” (wooden spoon= favorite torture device among Hungarian parents, on Hungarian children’s heads). Of course, I was such a good boy, I only ever heard of the punishment from old family legends. I have no recollection of a punishment where a wooden spoon never danced on my head. Not a one.  Or a two. Or a three,  or any number of times, even after I did that experiment with the washer and the drier when my parents weren’t home that time.

The “fa kanál” is the equivalent of the “knee spanking” in the Caribbean, (where you’re forced to kneel on uncooked rice for a time-out)

 The Hungarian people have had to beat off the Mongols, the Turks, the Hapsburgs (death to the Hapsburgs!), and the Russians. The wooden spoon is good training for the type of defiance necessary to survive.

Anya don’t ‘low no wimpy children ’round here…

I am a big fan of the ethnic cooking of my people. So naturally, I looked for blogs that connected me.

The very first one I came to is called the “Wooden Spoon”, contains cultural confirmation on my treatise about Hungarians and their wooden spoons.

The only problem with it, is it’s a Vegetarian Hungarian cooking site.

Can you really be a vegetarian Hungarian? It’s so rhymy-rhymy.

Also, Hungarian cuisine often features cooking where one meat is used to flavor another meat, sort of like having a pork-fried Turduken fish stew.

But I’m going to give the recipes a try. You should too. Here’s the link:


I love this woman’s blog!!  It’s down homey, especially if you’re one of those kids who happen to have spent every Grape Festival of your childhood in Hungarian Freedom Halls plastered with huge maps of Hungary before the shame of Trianon, a real curse word in Hungarian.


I’m glad I started my blog tour here.

Elek Sarah has not posted since last April.

Almost a year.

Perhaps there is only so much you can do with dough, paprika and vegetables before you gotta throw something with a face into the ol’ bogrács.


Perhaps Ms. Elek’s quiet village of Baltimore was raided by the Turks, or those tricky Austrians. Perhaps Romania took 40% of her blog and bulldozed the Hungarian parts. In any case, you better post soon Saraca, or….

Fog táncolni a fa kanál!


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